Thursday, August 6, 2009

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Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Heal Adversity


When adversity hits and your partner and friends remain compassionate and supportive, they are the best of circumstances. You can find the depth of your friendships when things are difficult.

Emotionally healthy people can be supportive. They might retrieve your prescription, prepare a meal, and keep you sane. If you need it, a friend might accompany you to a lawyer, or a doctor. Listening for the said and the unsaid, friends are essential in trying times.

Emotionally healthy people are able to handle being with your trauma without needing to compete with your challenge and without getting unduly upset by anything. They can comprise the rock for you, while handling their own life. They do not expect you to support them while your needs are very large. Granted, there can be a tipping point if your needs take up more of their life than they can give. Despite the fact that no one is responsible for your life, but you, healthy relationships are gifts in difficult times.

Sometimes, many of your friends may be under their own stress. So notice if you're judging. Keep letting go of the attachment to having certain friends help you, or certain people supporting you in certain ways.

Expectations make you hurt more when those expectations are unmet. Moreover, expectations can dull your gratitude. When you expect certain actions, does the fulfillment qualify as a gift? Or is it a satisfied expectation? If the friend knows that there has a requirement, the contribution is short-circuited for the giver.

You may receive a short phone to offer sweet words. If you're grateful for that, the small act can lift your spirits, even if it does not completely "cure what ails you."

There mayhap more than emotionally healthy friends in your life. When you are in hardship, the trick is to stay aware of who in your life is willing to support you in word or deed. If you are open, you will find that the people you would least expect to help do come to your aide. Whether from a friend or an acquaintance, others' love can go a long way to hastening your healing.

When closed to this opportunity, you miss the contribution that acquaintances have to give. Not everyone is in your clique. Any healthy relationships, such as those just outside your main circle may fill a void, just because they can. An acquaintance may have a skill that you need in a crisis. You may learn who cares more than you knew. Those acquaintances may take a more prominent place in your life after your adversity lifts.

Wherever it comes from and disregarding how close you thought you were, healthy relationships are healing. A few words may be just what you need to get unstuck and move you past the current stalemate. Embrace the many people around you that would love to make a difference. Everyone is a gift in his or her way.

Before adversity comes, thank for healthy relationships in your life. Let people know how much you cherish them. For maximum enjoyment, strive to be that emotionally healthy relationship for others.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

12 Dirty Habits That Prevent You From Developing Exceptional People Skills


Dirty Habit #1 –Looking down at the floor when speaking to someone.
You must learn to consider someone directly in their eyes when speaking to
them. If you were taught that staring at people was impolite, you’re
absolutely right. However, this does not mean you can’t look at someone in
his or her eyes.
Dirty Habit #2 – Slouching when you’re standing or seating. Stand
up straight. In our society being tall is a good thing. When you slouch you
appear much shorter. Not only will standing straight make you look taller
but it will also give you a confident look.
Dirty Habit #3 –Frowning and not smiling enough. No one likes to spend
time with someone who’s in a bad mood. If you’re not feeling too great then
try to keep your distance. People love to spend time with upbeat, optimistic
people. Make an effort to smile, not frown.
Dirty Habit #4 – Avoiding strangers. Since the day you were born, your
parents have taught you never to speak to strangers. Well, you’re a full-grown
now and things have changed. In order to develop exceptional people skills
you need to be comfortable speaking to all types of people. You need to
meet as many people as you can.
Dirty Habit #5 – Making a poor first impression. Did you know that
people will judge almost everything about you just by your first impression?
Make an initial effort to get on with the person you are meeting and
you’ll save yourself a lot of trouble in the future.
Dirty Habit #6 – Not making an effort to speak well. Called for to develop
great people skills you need to become a great conversationalist. This
doesn’t mean you need to speak a lot; this means you need to speak well.
You need to articulate and choose your words wisely. Basically, you need to
listen to what you’re saying and not just blabber on about whatever you feel
like.
Dirty Habit #7 – Not being a good listener. Have you ever noticed how
you tend to fall under a mind drift as soon as the other person begins to speak?
Okay, well if you really don’t care about the person, then fine. But if you do,
make an effort to listen and let the person speak. It will only help you further
on in the conversation.
Dirty Habit #8 – Not staying in touch with your acquaintances. To make
sure you accept the best relationships with all of the people you know, you
must stay in touch with them. You need to regularly check your contact list
and remind them all that you still exist. I’m not saying to call them up twice
a week but an occasional check up is always nice.
Dirty Habit #9 – Not being proactive. When at that place is not enough action and
things are looking dull, it’s up to you to make a move. If you aren’t satisfied
with the current situation don’t blame others, do something about it! Let’s
face it: no one really cares if you’re unhappy, except maybe your mom...
Dirty Habit #10 – Not enjoying your social life. If you want people to
enjoy your company, you need to let them know that you’re a fun person to
spend time with. If you’re a slave, then I congratulate you! However,
you need to occasionally go out and be known for your excellent nights out!
Go out and live your life to the fullest!
Dirty Habit #11 – Not facing your fears. Actually, this relates to all
aspects of your life but therein context I’m talking about meeting new people,
career promotions, etc. If you need to do something logical but your
emotions are getting in the way, then you need to analyze the situation and
use some common sense.
Dirty Habit #12 – Refusing to be open minded. There are all kinds of
people out there. There are different religions, different races, different
cultures, and different languages. Learn to accept others for who it is not
who you want them to be. Give them your full respect and work out your
differences unless of course you aren’t receiving the respect you deserve.